Le Sexpert

This reminds me of those stories of guys who end up dead with the last words they hear being “Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight”.

This hapless robber obviously is outgunned because he brought a gun to a cannon-fight.

Yknow, this chick is a fruitcake. She’s all hot and bothered and fussing about a bit of cum on her keyboard (well, maybe a LOT of cum) when she should be amazed at the fact that it’s still white, still sticky and there’s TONS of it! That’s like super-cum or something…!

Women miss these kinds of opportunities all the time…they see a hot horny dude who wants to get it on (and really needs to ‘get it out’) and they freak out about the stupidest things to avoid the action. This horny fucker should show that bitch just how good cum can be and splooge another massive Peter North-esque load, but this time all over her face.

Yknow those dorks and nerds when you were younger that you figured would never have any use (I’m not talking the Bill Gates ones…I’m talking the totally useless geeks that you just knew would never have any use)…

Well as you can see, if it weren’t for the fact that these geeks were too dorky to ever get laid, and too square to ever jack it…we wouldn’t have the rough and tough denim-wear that we now enjoy.

A lot of women nowadays have their priorities fucked up and go for guys who either look gay, are gay, or they are so twinkified they may as well be made by Hostess.

At least this chick has her priorities straight, and knows that for the fun that really matters, it’s not the head on top of the neck that counts.

Many years ago men used to enjoy their ‘evening constitutional’ with their wife and faithful dog at the end of their day after work was done and dinner was consumed…and they would spend some time chatting with their womenfolk about whatever took their fancy…

Nowadays, though the evening constitutional may still be a regular activity for some, many young couples would rather be ‘walking the dog’ than using their legs…but they still prefer going outside to do it.

Kinky shit man…see that’s the way to get served cake on your birthday…half a dozen sexy super-sluts ready and eagerly waiting for your birthday-suited cock…with cupcakes and sparklers shoved up their asses leaving their pussies wide open for the taking.

Whoever the birthday boy is, he is one lucky motherfucker…unless that candle wax starts to drip…

Ostriches man…they are some of the weirdest most bizarro looking creatures on the planet…long legs, fat bodies, long necks, boggly eyes…maybe they were pets that aliens left behind thousands of years ago.

Anyways, seeing this cartoon makes me think about ostriches, and yknow how they like always go around sticking their head in the sand…maybe ostriches have some wild hallucinogen and they are totally horny so they like just stick their head in the sand where they can’t see, but then their mind sees and they totally check out some hallucinated ostrich porn…food for thought huh?

Suddenly Johnny realized that Suzie’s saying that she was still a virgin was obviously a lie…

At first when I read this, I wonder what the hell these loser dudes must be doing wrong that they, even married, get so little sex that they turn into ravenous sex fiends.

Then I look up the hill and see what they’re married to, and realize…no wonder these guys aren’t getting any, cos who the hell could fuck those beasts on the hill.

Delivery decadence Batman!! These horny hungry hunnies fill their needs for food, fucking and entertainment at the same time with some meaty at-home sausage and an extra length of cable to play with…

I guess if they only wanted a quickie they would call Domino’s since their drivers are guaranteed to come within 30 minutes.

If you were around in the 1970’s you would remember that Burger King’s big selling point in their commercials was that you get what you order ‘your way’.

Some clever strip-show/lap-dance owner has incorporated that customer-preference first policy, and now owns the most successful platoon of poontang in Peoria.

Jesus Christ dude…this is not a mutilation, this is freakin murder!

Yknow how some chicks joke that guys brains are in their cocks ?  Well for some fucking idiot to be so moronic as to allow some freaky fag to cut off his cock in order to do a piercing…his brains truly must’ve been in his cock, so this piercing-peon just beheaded that dumb fuck.

The truest sign of Real Wealth…..being able to do anything you want to and getting someone to do anything you want them to…

God I would never be bored if I could be this wealthy…a harem of bought beauties fighting for the chance to be the next one picked to indulge whatever whim next strikes me as fun to do or have them do.

See now…that’s the problem with people today (or one of the problems).  They just don’t see the potential that sometimes lays (or dangles) right in front of them.

Like man, I don’t know about you guys, but my old lady sometimes likes a little kink in her dink…so if anything, that receptionist should be jumping this dudes bones, getting those hard to reach areas, spraying all over him in appreciation and showing him that he should be the one getting the last laugh on the doctors.

This is a case of a porn movie with too much budget combined with too little imagination…

Something like this needs to be a major gangbang orgy with splooge floating everywhere and the chicks all swimming around after it, slurping it up and sucking it down.